Beatrice


Margaret V.Doran



          "Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee:
          for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge:
          thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.
                                                                                Ruth 1:16

I placed her hand in mine and limply let it rest
I stroked her gnarled fingers knowing I had been blessed
by the grace of this fragile lady who hovered now near death.
I prayed for her peace and healing with each ventilated breath

Her love was freely given for over thirty years;
far more than I deserved she heaped about my ears.
I whispered that I loved her; they told me she could hear
and then I kept my vigil wanting only to be near.

In her throat a tube forced air into her chest
drugs flowed through her veins to keep her heart from rest.
Lines and wires wound round; machines were everywhere;
everything there was to aid the doctors’ care.

But doctors were only doctors, not masters of who lived and died
and I wanted her to live as I sat there by her side.
"Please, God, let her stay; I’m not ready yet to part.
There’s so much still to learn about her loving art."

Her frail fingers fluttered bird-like in my palm
"I love you," again I whispered - ‘twas all I had for balm
Almost in disbelief I saw her nod her head
nearly imperceptibly to acknowledge what I said

The effort that it took said more than words can say;
she was comforting me - even on that day.
And also in that gesture I gleaned something more,
it proved a precious gem of truth I had heard before

The value of love is measured not by how much you receive
but rather by what you give away. This I truly believe.
And the value of ones life is measured at least in part
not by what you have, but what’s given from your heart.

God has been gracious and left her here for yet a while
I shall joy in every moment, rejoice with every smile.
Now as she grows stronger with every passing day
I shall not forget to say, "I love you," while I may.

(My beloved mother-in-law who suffered a near-fatal heart attack January 15, 1998 two days after her 80th birthday and today is recovering. I am thankful to God! I am also thankful for immediate by-stander CPR and to the Salem Fire Department, Salem, Oregon for their care and rapid transport!)




Copyright © 1998 Margaret V. Doran. All rights reserved.

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Updated July 1, 1999

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